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Thereapos;s a reason iapos;m not dating any of the dudes youapos;ve sent me lately. I donapos;t like the fact that they came to like me through my writing; it weirds me out, seeing as how almost every poem i write is about joe pitts. Also, some of them are just not on the ball with many things. Look, iapos;m not being picky, but the only ones that say they want to keep me are the ones that donapos;t deserve me, or understand me, and have nothing else to loose.

and chris isnapos;t talking to me anymore. We werenapos;t talking because he was an asshole and said some really horrible things to me and then i go to him and say "i dont want to yell at you, i dont like doing that, i just care about you" and he said "the thing to do is not worry about it" and i cant handle that bullshit. You know how many times i called him and texted him in the beginning of the year? what a douche bag. What a fucking douche bag. I never ignored him last year, even when i was iffy or not into it, i always spoke to him and spent time with him and heapos;s a fucking wuss for not doing the same for me. Some best friend you are. Youapos;re not supposed to sleep with people you donapos;t care about. (double negatives are appropriate here).

and i keep fucking things up, universe, and saying all the wrong things. Why am i self sabotaging like this? i dont get it. If i was who i really am this shit wouldnt be going down.


im just overwraught with the stress of this. I just want to leave everything and start a new life again.

i dont want people to be interested in me for the reasons they are.

this is just a total bummer.


Jackee

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