comic book super villains

(copied pasted from my xanga) all this was written yesterday.

god why do we care so much what someones myspace says? for me i guess itapos;s because now itapos;s my only connection to jay. The only way to know anything about him anymore. A week after we split, he finally changed his myspace page to single. And took off the introduction we had written together. I guess it was time. I knew it wouldnapos;t stay forever. He changed it to single. Looking for dating, friends, serious relationships. My god, i could have died. 1 week later and youapos;re looking for all that. I canapos;t even fall asleep at night without you there and youapos;re ready to move on? he changed his song to never enough by five finger punch. I looked up lyrics cause i donapos;t know that song. I felt so horrible. I emailed him with this long apologetic thing. I hope he took it to heart. I hope he knows how sorry i truely am. He changed his profile. To single. Looking for, friends. Not dating. Not serious relationships. Although now i wonder if itapos;s just cause he knows i look at his page. Or if its how he feels. I donapos;t know. I wonder.

fuck. I miss him.

ok so i had to eat today and hereapos;s why.

Around 3:30pm today, I began having the most excruciating pain in my lower back and ovaries. Unable to kill the pain with my own medicine, I had to go to the emergency room. I was violated so horribly. I had to have an ultrasound done on my pelvic, kidneys and ovaries. Which of course involved having an 8 inch rod inserted into my no-no hole and I was poked in the most uncomfortable ways. I almost died when they were pressing on my ovaries. The pain was so bad I ended up crying my eyes out and then proceeded to puke. I donapos;t know if I puked from the pain or because basically my worst fear was then confirmed with that ultrasound. I think it was both, mostly the latter though.

2 hours in and I still hadnapos;t gotten any pain medicine. After being wheeled back to my room, I got a shot in the ass. Ouchie. That kicked in 20 mins later and only lasted 45 mins. Then 1.5 hours later, I managed to get the doctor back in there and got him to order me another shot. This time it was pain and nausea medicine mixed in one. I think it actually made me nauseous rather than not. But I havenapos;t eaten anything all day so that had something to do with it. Then 30 minutes later I was released. With a percocet prescription.

Things are just not well for me lately. First things with Jason. Now finding out what is wrong with me tonight. Day by day my life is taking a turn for the worse. Not only that, now I have a hospital bill with no health insurance.

So I had to eat because iapos;m taking medication. For the next few days or longer. GRRR. It hurts so fucking bad. Iapos;ve never taken percocet so iapos;m hoping it does me well.

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